Shelly the Efficient Secretary

Shelly the Efficient Secretary

Preternatural File Detection skills.

Probably the best hire The Warden ever made.

Shelly the Efficient Secretary held the coveted title of Current Champ from Thursday, November 15, 2007 to Thursday, November 15, 2007, heartily vanquishing File Cake to earn it. Unfortunately, brutal defeat came soon after, at the merciless hands of Killer Kitty Calendar.

This hero's magnaminous likeness was captured at the moment of glorious triumph by Kevin .


Quotes overheard while standing in the crowd that gathered to watch the carnage…

  1. Attractive secretary.

    Ian | [ a ]
  2. I would have spelled efficient with 3e's too!

    TheJones | [ a ]
  3. Yep... I always spell stuff wrong when I hand letter. It's because I concentrate on making the letter shape rather than whether that letter belongs there or not!

    bearskinrug | [ a ]
  4. You guys are going to offer T-shirts soon, right? I mean, do it through Cafe Press, I need one now! :-)

    Steve | [ a ]
  5. Yeah, bring those shirts to us. We'd love to overcharge your fans for second-rate, iron-on, bullshit Hanes tees that will kirk out in the dryer. Imagine how nice it'll be to know that people all over the place have a big, sweaty leaf of plastic bearing your design on their chest!

    Café Press | [ a ]
  6. i like the random birthday cake in the background. secretary super heroes are surprisingly efficient AND excellent cake-bakers.

    martha | [ a ]
  7. crap. i just realized that cake in the background wasn't random at all. i'm an idiot.

    oh well. i still think secretary super heroes are excellent cake-bakers.

    martha | [ a ]
  8. she'd better watch out for The Carpal Tunneler.

    lauren | [ a ]
  9. Hmm, interesting possibilities for a nemesis. Perhaps "The Inappropriately Hands-On Manager"?

    Mark Vestibule | [ a ]
  10. Hmm... I am assuming that she is going to be filing that file there. I like it.

    MORK | [ a ]
  11. so what defeats a secretary? painful shoes? instant messaging? low pay? paper cuts? whoopee cushion? solitaire? romance novels? promotions?

    em. | [ a ]
  12. "We'd love to overcharge your fans for second-rate, iron-on, bullshit Hanes tees that will kirk out in the dryer.": I have some three and four year old Cafe Press shirts that have been through the washing machine dozens of times, and look just fine. A little less luster. The trick is to not use hot water. Most modern washing detergent uses enzymes that work best in cold water.

    Glenn Fleishman | [ a ]
  13. very interesting, but I don't agree with you

    Idetrorce | [ a ]

A Random Hero!

Scout Boy

Scout Boy

With knot tying badge of merit! Those tentacles won't be much use with two half-hitches of fury tied in 'em.