Monsieur Masseur

Monsieur Masseur

Turns panic into pleasure with his magical touch — the C'est la vie Thérapie.

One 5-minute session ($1 per minute) with him and your body turns to mush.

Monsieur Masseur held the coveted title of Current Champ from Monday, March 24, 2008 to Tuesday, March 25, 2008, heartily vanquishing Deadline to earn it. Unfortunately, brutal defeat came soon after, at the merciless hands of Prick.

This hero's magnaminous likeness was captured at the moment of glorious triumph by Guest Illustrator Varick Rosete.

Audience

Quotes overheard while standing in the crowd that gathered to watch the carnage…

  1. Fantastic! It makes me wish I knew French enough to compliment him in a natural fashion.

    Joseph | [ a ]

  2. I took French in High School, though I don't remember any complimentary phrases — only terms of shock:

    Zut alors!

    Mon Dieu!

    bearskinrug | [ a ]

  3. Le poulet est tres intelliegent!

    burt | [ a ]

  4. What is wrong with my brain? All I see are dirty...things.

    solaana | [ a ]

  5. What happened to Extension?

    Anna | [ a ]

  6. Did Extension get pushed back?

    Mouse | [ a ]

  7. Extension was defeated by the superheo 'Sutter-not-realizing-we-had-a-guest'. He is a mighty foe of all that is logical and good. But it's just as well because Varick's is much better anyway.

    sutter | [ a ]

  8. Great job! A French miming masseur will be interesting to beat.

    Bruce | [ a ]

  9. oooo i'm feeling relaxed...... WHAMO

    Mountain Gnome | [ a ]

  10. tres marcel marceau!...varick puts the "ooh la la" in brouhaha...fantastique!

    nille | [ a ]

  11. Vous êtes des dessins sont le mauvais âne! Keep'em up V! Word...

    Some Guy In Seattle... | [ a ]

  12. Merci pour tous les commentaires! Nous allons faire en français Le Superest tous tout le temps!...okay, I don't speak French. Thanks Google Translator!

    Varick | [ a ]

  13. oh la la this hero would be quite difficult to beat.

    someperson | [ a ]

  14. Man! Now I'll never get to bottom of Extensions' kooky roller skates! Curses!

    Linsel | [ a ]

  15. "Vous êtes des dessins sont le mauvais âne!"

    You are drawings are bad donkeys? I'd love to tell you that sentence makes at least some sort of sense but... sorry. ^^

    Bujold | [ a ]

  16. Uh.... "mauvais âne" is a verrrrry bad translation of "badass" methinks... ;)

    Cath | [ a ]

A Random Hero!

Super Nail-Eating Snail

Super Nail-Eating Snail

Eats your nails when you are asleep. Santa will never rest in peace again! (See Onychophagia)