Grand Finale: Ends performances (including, sadly, Matt and Kevin's).
The Singing Swan:  Delays the inevitable with his amazing voice.
Last Call: Kills the party.
Sorrow Drowner: Impervious to gloomy predictions.
Doctor Doom: Predicts "The End".
HellMütt: Safety last.
Carpenter Ant: Re-purposes wood
The Dog Pounder: Pounds dogs flat!
Lassy: Rescues kids in danger
Child Labor Squad: The same quality heroing at one-third the cost!
The Seamstress: Snips out tangles and sews the ends together.
Gordian Nazi: You can't make straight what you can't untie.
The Straightener: Straightens all things crooked
Stage Hook: Removes
Comedefuser: Defuses explosive situations with comedy.
Maître Dynamite: Explodes Busboys.
Bus Boy!: Speedily clears away dirty silverware.
Omnivore: Eats both plants <em>and</em> animals.
Dragonion:  Blinds eyes with tears.
Stare-oid: Shrinks balls with his stare.
The Abdominal Snowman: Aerobicizes away unsightly pounds. The snowman way!
The Ghost of Christmas Fat: Enemy of svelte and seductive figures.
Hot Koko: Warms up cold climates.
North Polar Bear: Catches reindeer with clever camouflage.
Acid Rain Deer: Burns away metal and flesh.
The Silent Knight: Suffers no caroling.
Wassailant: Her delightful caroling forces people to open their doors to their doom.
Christmas Eve: Puts little boys to bed early.
The Little Dryer Boy: Dries out all moisture. Pa rum pum pum pum.
Lew Bricate: Can slick any surface!
Friction Affliction: Leader of the surface resistance
Gravitiki: Radiates a force of Pull.
Spring Break Monster: Irresistible to any sophomore
Sophomore Album: Ruins musicians' careers
COaxe Slinger: Blows out speakers with rock!
Motivational Speaker: Encourages individuality and self-sufficiency.
Be He Moth: Chews up fabric.
Doc Docile: Uses his DomestiCape to pacify dangerous gators.
Tail Gator: Has a ravenous hunger for alcohol-soaked flesh.
Buster Booster: Wears a super-luxurious mink, seal, and otter fur coat.
Jerry Curl: His hair makes all surfaces slippery.
Stampete, The One-Man Herd: Hootenannies set him a-tramplin'.
The Fondude: Melts cheeses for his wild hootenannies.
Wonder Rind: Ten times harder than the hardest cheese.
Harold the Grate: Reduces sponges to a pile of squishy dust.
Desikkate: Siphons moisture.
Amphibior: Reverts princes to frogs within seconds of exposure
Prince Charming: The incontestable bane of step-family.
Step Dad: With super-grounding abilities! No video games for 6 months!
Joyless Stick: The thumb's worst enemy.
Jack Horner: Sticks his massive thumb into any available hole
Loophole: Cheats laws! (natural or otherwise)
Will And Testament: Possess an insatiable hunger for rich relatives.
The Living Expenses: Crusher of dreams... swallower of plans.
Artist Son: Every Fathers worst nightmare.
Father Nature: Punishes disobedient critters.
The Lid Lemur: Renders Tupperware useless by swiping the lids for his nest.
Tupperwarrior: Impervious to microwaves.
The Microwave of Mutilation: Turns anything metal into an explosion of sparks
The Foiler: Banishes foodstuffs to obscurity!
The Vegang: Fight the use of animals in EVERY form.
Transmog: Turns chicken into other animals that taste like chicken.
Party Fowl: Leaves no beverage un-spilled
Party Animal: Lured by loud music & the promise of near-catatonic prey.
The Sigmas: Disarming the relevance of anything Greek
Combustecles: Invented history's first bomb.
Antique King: Things that enter his holy collection never leave
Snuffer: Snuffs with vigor.
Grill Mark: Cooks tacky lawn dwellers: well done.
Wizzytinkle, the Garden Gnome: Destroys the resale value of entire neighborhoods in seconds.
Margo Hirsch, Neighborhood Association President: Banishes undesirable grasses.
Crabby Grass: Chokes out the roots of any plant in his way.
Pitching Plant: Ensures that young boys keep their singing voices.
Puberteam: Changing anything comfortable or good to just plain awkward.
Boy Band Productions Presents: Clean4Teens: Irresistible to teen girls!
Texas Teany Bopper: Attacks anyone rupturing her delicate surface
Sound Burier: Nulls noise!
Falsetto: His pitch shatters glass
Fermenting Tank: Traps slugs and snails.
Super Nail-Eating Snail: Eats your nails when you are asleep.
Santa Claws: Slays anyone infringing on his chimney turf.
Chimney Sweep: Cleans out Stovepipe Hats.
The Diabolical Derailer: No locomotion is safe after a visit from the Diabolical Derailer
Cow Catcher: Bashes Bulls.
Janitaur: Mythologically scrubbing and scraping things top to bottom
The Under Taker: Traps his foes beneath tables.
The Mighty Boogala: Disgusts dates by hiding under the noses of potential suitors.
Dehydrodater: Drains moisture from unsuspecting lonely women.
Debbie Dumped: Her plentiful tears for lost love ruin all things leather.
Verminatrix: Easily dominates varmints.
Vertigopher: Dizzying the steadiest of foes into collapse.
Magnus Colosso, Ninth Wonder Of The World: The <em>only being on Earth</em> able to endure the <em>unrestrained brute force</em> of a swung pillow.
Pillow Fighter: Creates deadly weapons from the feathers of her foes.
The Rooster: His caw... brings dawn!
Night Mayor: Terrorizes the citizens of his town when they fall asleep.
The Slumbering Giant: Can't stand loud, mechanized noises.
Lawn Moe: Mows down anything in his way.
Upchuck: Induces nausea with nausea.
The Sword Swallower: Blades are only meals to the Sword Swallower.
Picket Fencer: Thinks the Right To Assemble is wrong.
Local 696: No bots for human jobs.
Cyborganic: Eradicator of synthetics.
Spartame: His sweetness is entirely artificial.
Caffiend: Jittery hands ruin precision jobs
Surgeon General: Wages an eternal war on smoking.
Jane Smoker: Her fog confuses and sedates bees.
Son of Drone: Indefinitely produces a loud, flat tone.
Barberchop Quartet: Harmonizing at frequencies deadly to barbers.
Barberbarian: Crudely removes hair.
The Forest Friends: Melt hearts with their adorability.
The Heart Worm: Man's best friends' worst enemy.
Caulie Collie: Gives wrestlers a nasty case of cauliflower ear with his teeth.
The Suppressor: Wrestles oversized appetites into submission.
The Competitive Eater: Consumes mass quantities of food in minimal time.
All-You-Can-Eat Buffet: Destroys hourglass figures.
Hourglass of Hate: Sabotaging computer performance.
Phisher Man: Easily parts fish from their money.
Stingy Sturgeon: Never spends a dime
Austin Auction: Can say anything 10 times fast.
Tongue Twisters: Tying tongues in twisted tangles
The Phoneticist: Civilizes even the most wild of creatures.
Feral Flea: Bites off more than he can chew.
Wee Kong: Bane of tiny aircraft.
Diet Pilot: His tininess allows him to fly into open orifices and destroy the fat cells within.
Lady Godiva: Loves all things equestrian, and all things confection.
Decicorn: Ten times the hooves. Ten times the trampling.
The Horseshoe King: Can toss up to fifty ringers in ten seconds!
The Thumber: His charm gets him rides. His slashing loses them.
Big Wheel: Just keeps rolling.
Salamandra: Quickly regenerates lost limbs
Thigh High: His whirling neck-blade can only be ducked under.
Shrimp on a Barbie: Skewering Aussie hearts
Down Undercutter: Slashing prices and throats since 1980
Black Marketeer: Steals items to sell underground for profit.
Saboteur Successor: Eager to inherit the throne at any cost.
Queen of Clubs: Beats any Jack, any time.
Jack Rummy: Distracting Grannies from their everyday duties.
Fairy Grandmother: Puts some meat on those bones.
Femurder: Pummels foes with his fleshless limbs.
Vulgar Vulture: Ignores scavenger etiquette. Like... waiting until something dies before you eat it.
The Remainder: Plays dead until the barrage is over then strikes!
Didi Divide: Surrounds and overwhelms any single individual.
Rick O'Shea is The Deflector: Turning projectiles against their owners
Fallen Archer: Verily! Thine foot doth he vex and only!
Mr. McCandz: Fights with his feet not with his hands
Thumb Gremlin: Steals your thumbs while you sleep.
Midwife: Snipping cords of all shapes and sizes
The Cord Marshal: Commands extension cords.
General Contractor: Rebuilding and rebilling
Wrecking Paul: Now I am become Paul, destroyer of buildings.
KillOWatt: Never remembers to turn off its many headlights.
Alkalion: King of the Batteries.
Squall: Providing massive power outages
Drysperado: Wanted: for unlawful shrinking of clothing.
Sweat Threat: His many sweatbands swallow moisture.
Hugh Midity: Always surrounded by a cloud of moisture.
Starch Duke Ferdinand: Manifests a stifling stiffness.
The Bends: Contort their way around trouble
Sea Miner: His cleverly-placed mines will sink any enemy ship!
Fuzzy: Adorably unhuggable
Aunt Olympia: Her smothering affection will take your breath away.
Lung Lad: Look! Who's that inhaling harmful winds?
Spin Doctor: His destructive cyclones make any scandal old news.
P.R. Scandal: Prepare reputation for besmirching
Governor Mercy: Grants pardons aplenty!
Extreme Measures: You must be at least this tall to live
Jealous Jockey: Destroys all rivals to his preeminent role on the lawn.
Metro Gnome: Calming angry tempos
Allegrissimo: Speeds musicians up to dangerously-fast tempos.
Lulling Lute: Pacifies, then pulverizes.
The Aching Head: Loud sounds send him into an uncontrollable rage.
Jacques Hammer: Scourge of aggregate stonework and crusty breads.
The Hulking Load: He will burden you with his ballast.
Bodhisattva Yogi: Never touches ground.
Kline the Landmine: Be careful where you dig...
Dashing Delver: Digs holes at superhuman speed!
Leatherback the tortoise with more(tas): Slowly and steadily outsmarting the competition.
Hare-2-O: Sprays watery mist from his ears... and has four times the normal luck!
Tear Cat: Breaking mobs with bad luck and tear gas
The Superstitious Villagers: Every Mad Doctor's nightmare.
Doctor Constipator: Creating constipation concoctions.
The Beetlemaster: His army of dung beetles will divide and conquer.
FertEliza: Grows stronger healthier vegetation in no time flat
Shrinking Violet: Reduces intimidatingly-sized vegetation to normal.
Cacto: Hes got a spine with your name on it.
Lily Livered Lenny: Spineless through and through.
Dr Ted, Chiropractor: De-hunches the hunched.
The Hunchback of Middle High: Steals bells before they can sound.
The False Alarmers: An unlikely team of experts specializing in setting off the fire drill. Chubby Tim Rogers: His poorly-aimed dodgeball frequently hits the fire alarm. Jeremy The Delinquent: Needs to get suspended so he can go to Burning Man. Janitor Rufus: A fire drill guarantees him a 20-minute nap under the bleachers.
Mr. Carvers Biology Class: Chapter 8: Pig dissection
Avaricious Oinksly: Covets any spare change.
The Copper Coppers: Busting up vacuums and making a really awful noise in the process.
Vic Hume: The Human Vacuum.
Opus Rumpus the one man band: Drowning out all other sounds
Antler Enchanter: Leads all the antlers out of town.
The Hat Racker: Putting head-toppers under head stones.
Fallout Fedora: Impressive coifs should fear this toxic topper.
Shredlock: Paper goes in, trash comes out!
The Reamer: Bigger hands means more paper cuts.
The Diabolical Fists of Little Richie Hawkins: No toy can withstand those massive hams!
Boppo: Tip him and he'll tip you back
The Tipper: Upsets the off-balance.
Righty Tighty: Heroically and compulsively turning things off.
Liam Lium: Emits a constant stream of helium gas.
The Drone: Bores dates into submission
The Expiration Dates: They love you and leave you... for dead.
Tartar Martyrs: Willing to give their lives to destroy all things
Teddy Slane: Plush game hunter
Killer Fluffy Bunny Prize: Ambushes unsuspecting carnival workers.
Arnie Carney: Uses any rings he can find for his games.
Holy Holer: Drilling holes by the bucketfull.
The Jani-Tormentor and his Bucket of Destruction: Shorting out complex machines during the night shift!
Dr Neil and his Smallenating Ray: Uses science to create bug sized gas masks.
Didi Tee: Kills all manner of pests!
The Prophylactick: When you find yourself in a hot spot call on the Prophylactick.
Claparella: A single clap brings the most handsome of heroes regret and discomfort.
Phenomenalbert: You can't improve on perfection.
Reality Makeover Squad: Will hold inappropriately-dressed woman captive for <em>hours</em>.
Cavi Tease: Lures unsuspecting vampires to bite him and get tooth decay.
The Pollen Count: No bee can resist his allure!
Fumble Bee: Clumsy enough to bumble through ANY safety precaution.
Safe T. Reg: You can't fight bureaucracy!
Carb Cutter: Your health is at risk!
Pretzeled Pete: Salty through and through.
Sugar Suck: Removes every last bit of sweetness from food. Rendering it inedible.
Marmalady: Gathering the world's jars for her delicious preserves.
Captain Captivity: Compelled to capture every creature in the cosmos in incommodious containers.
Sea Fellow: Appears out of any water to jump through hoops.
The Human Hole: To him, solid objects are but air.
Wind Breaker: Can withstand any gale.
Stiff Breeze: Just the right wind to extinguish your flame and goose your bumps
The Pyro: Views gas as an opportunity to make a light meal.
Mr. Fantastic Feathers, Canary Incredible: Easily survives the harshest tunnel gas.
Carpal Tunneler: Chiseling your hands useless.
Number Cruncher: Math just got a lot tougher.
Die Chart: Predator of the cubicle plains.
The Lackey: Stumbles into work regardless of obvious sickness.
Hay Fever: Clogs the precious flow of sinus liquids.
Happy Hour: No teamster can resist Happy Hour
Titanium Team: Metallion: No barb can penetrate his metallic skin! Paulie & Jeff: Operate the forklift that moves Metallion around.
Prick: Don't get punctured by the poking pins of Prick
Monsieur Masseur: Turns panic into pleasure with his magical touch — the C'est la vie Thérapie
Deadline: His aura of panic halves brain capacity by... uh... half.
Gray Matters: Moving things faster and safer with his superior and bountiful brain power.
The Mover: Easily destroys fragile goods.
The Spitting Image: Reflecting your failure back at you.
Paparazzo: Ruins the credibility of the most powerful entertainers.
Ztainlezz Zteel: These rhymes wont rust
Lord Byron Oxide: Poetry that destroys metal.
GuilloTeen: Captivating and decapitating
Roticia: Rotates heads every couple of minutes.
Son of the Eclipse: Stare too long and you'll never stare again.
Deodoreyes: Replaceable eyes fight tough odor! Refill every 1-2 weeks for maximum freshness.
The Reeking Havoc: You can't discipline the stench of chaos.
Discipline Duo: Battling Bullies Forever.
The Bully Brothers: Crashing parties, smashing dorks.
Birthday Squad: Turns horses and ponies into a humiliating ride.
Hell Horse: Steals your voice
The Nag: Agitates the most serene foes until they come to blows.
Anger Manager: He quells and calms the angriest villains
Mad Cow: Contaminates cooks and their food.
Chef Lupo: Shepherds Pie is his specialty.
Super Shepherd: Can herd anything with hooves.
Conden Satyr: His cooling touch turns gas into liquid
The Evapo Raiders: Vaporizes even the most volatile teams.
Turpen Team: Thinning out the competition.
Lady Lacquer: Immune to the seduction of saturation.
Soggubus: Makes everything soggier.
Serial Filler: Ruthlessly slaughters marshmallows to refill his cereal box.
Miss Marshmallower: Gumming things up with her insatiable need for people to enjoy her kind
The Poking Sirens: Lures do-gooders to a watery grave with sensual prodding and jabbing.
Headless Horse and Man: Aimlessly helping those in need
Quack Sawbones: Hasn't met a psychotic that a good lobotomy couldn't fix.
Psycho Psychic: Channels spirits to torture them
Game Show Ghost: Needs exact answers or you lose — your life!
The Approxi Mates: Pummelers of all things precise.
The Metrics: Have no use for feet.
Sinister Swapper: Replaces right feet with left feet.
The Clogger: Dancing the folk out of your toilet.
The Loo Beast: Only emerges to snatch heads during swirlies.
Billy Goodsport: Believes everything is done
Mr. & Ms. Chievous Whim: Severely inhibit knife safety.
Scout Boy: With knot tying badge of merit!
Pus In Boots: No joints... and eight times the kicking power of a normal octopus!
Arthur Ritus: Traumatizing your joints.
Shaolin Spinster: Master of the
The League of Virgins: Their purity is a surety.
Volcanica: Through his veins flows lava yet through his heart flows hate.
Sample Simon: Can quickly identify anyone, regardless of clever disguise.
False Face: The master of deception providing disguise for those in need.
Inferno Affairs: Melts down crooked law enforcement officers.
The Swatter: Taking out flies with astounding speed and agility.
Venus Fly Trap: Lures bug enthusiasts to a fate worse than death!
The Entomologist: Always on the lookout for new specimens.
The Termite: Feasts on wooden things.
Babe Ruthless: Practices his hitting on airborne objects.
Lord Aleaping: Easily leaps over any projectile.
Hellbent Horner: Lays down the law with his wind powered gun.
Hurricandy Cane: Twirls candy canes to create epic-force winds.
The Wrapping Vapor: The Wrapping Vapor will obscure your vision.
Alarm Angel: Foils would-be stalkers.
The Stalking Stuffer: Follows people and chokes them with their own beards.
Father Trismus: Binds your jaws closed while you sleep.
Corrosive Ex-con: Burned through his cell bars to settle a score with the man who put him there
The Vice: Clamping down on life's lies and ho's.
Cosmic Hookers: Careening through space in their Hookship
The Toothed  Wormhole: What goes in... doesn't come out.
Time-Traveling Chimp: He's not near as interested with the past as he is with the FUTURE!
The Creationist: Evidence Schmevidence.
Vegedon: A herbivore with an insatiable appetite for the cork oak tree
The Corkslinger: Plugs up excreting holes with well-aimed corks.
The Shampooer: Excretes the highest quality shampoo.
The Head Louse: Turns beautiful hair scuzzy.
Lariat Lucy: Escape on the luscious locks of Lariat Lucy
Curfew: Lets no one wander outside past 3pm.
Trick Or Treater: Taking the world's candy... one door at a time!
Candy Dandy: Spoiling children's appetites
Goldilocks: Renowned for eating the precious oatmeal of others.
Mr. Groat: Breathes only oatmeal on his feline hunts.
Sigmund & Rory: Skilled "Big Cat" subjugators.
Lion X: Uses his X-ray specs to find things to maul
Figleif: Uses his many shields to cover up danger.
Nude Squad: Concerned only with Mother Nature's fashions.
The Fashion Mimics: Adding Class to high fashion — "Middle-Class".
The Spoiled Heiress: This week snake-skin is IN.
Cassanova Cobra: Deadly charming
The Sexy Zookeeper: Highest "Mating-In-Captivity" success rate amongst all the nation's zoos.
The Birds and the Bees: Creating father/son rifts through awkward conversation.
Hyper Team: Tim (son): Hyper-Sensitive to his Body Odor. Ted (dad): Hyper-Litigious.
Co-Eddie: Obsessed with the cleanliness of others.
The Penitent: His public tarring just didn't feel humiliating enough.
The Human Feather: Prepare to be thrown slightly off-balance by The Human Feather!
Ladderus: Hurls debris at his enemies while perched atop his Ladder of Doom.
Sweaty Palmer: Drenching you in Fear! ...and sweat.
Xplode: Has Xciting supply of illegal fireworks.
Bored Office BersWerker: "I drink ten cups a day. Your tea is no match for me!!!"
Teavil: Nanny's tea time just got bloody painful.
Nanny Sod-Off: Advocates strict, even-handed discipline.
Kid Zombie: The attention span of a kid. The bitey-ness of a zombie.
Dr. Empathy: Employs mind-bending therapeutic listening powers.
Capn' Skard: His sole mission in life is to avenge his partner's Kraken death!
The Floor Kraken: Makes misrolled objects disappear!
d20: Doesn't roll for Damage, only Death.
The Stork Orc: Him terminate birth in that theological grey area.
Baby New Year: Kills calendars every January 1st.
Killer Kitty Calendar: Lies in wait on The Secretary's movable wall.
Shelly the Efficient Secretary: Preternatural File Detection skills.
File Cake: Sneaks in the files — breaks out the felons.
The Warden: No plant can survive 30 days in the hole.
The Shiv Cactus: Enjoys direct light, high heat, and bloodlust.
Glowbo: Over-exposes film with his penetrative Glowbobeam™.
The Silent Film Director: Despises temptations of the ear.
The Foley Brothers: Making annoying noises ABOVE ground.
The Baffler: Travels the countryside laying sound-proof, foam squares to protect the populace from unwanted, underground noise.
The Underminer: Tunnels to potential prankees and warns them.
The Prankster: Replaces everyday objects with hilarious rubber facsimiles.
Forge Smith: Pounding any metal he can find into paper clips.
Poachbot 12-P6: The deadliest mechanical-monster poaching poaching mechanical-monster known to all of mechanical-monster kind.
Ramboni: Flattens all ice.
Isaac Coles: Freezes gum off of any surface!
Bubba Hubba: Litters the world with a gummy, sticky residue.
The Boot Brute: No obstacle is unkickable to The Boot Brute
Obstacle Force: Look out, Evil!
Blind Neddie: He is worthless to the armed forces.
The Charismatic Recruiter: He used to be just like you...
Doug, The Slacker Next Door: Instantly charms all oppressed teenage girls.
Over Protective Parent: <u>Never</u> leaves its children alone.
Fun Uncle Stu: Lets kids have all sorts'a fun when those UPTIGHT parents ain't around!
Screamin' Sara Jenkins: Routinely wakes up for a drink of water and catches burglars.
Phillip LePhipp: Competitive Burgling World-Record Holder (1998-Present)
The Iron Cabinet: Filing away your documents... forever!
The Magma Carta: Limits the rights of the Monarchy, while instantly vaporizing plastic.
Queen Zip of the Loch: Heavily taxing plastic sandwich bags.
The Von Brownbag Children: Bring lunch to school EVERY day.
Mr. Jellyhead: Can absorb any impact.
The Asteroid: Detour or not... he's gonna HIT!
The Detour Raptor: Finding you a safer way.
The Pothole: Capable of knocking anyone off the wagon.
Detoxitron: Featuring REVOLUTIONARY 12-Step Program.
Alco-Hal: Draining the World's hairspray supply because he can't afford real alcohol.
Betty Luke: Gettin' by just fine without any taste.
The Taste Burglar: Stealing your taste buds in the night.
The Deep Friar: Makes Everything taste Good!
Brocco-Lee: Taste bitter defeat when you oppose Brocco-Lee!
6 Year-Old Girl: Can throw a Tea Party anywhere!
Albinis: Albinis the eyeless, albino tortoise
The Chlorinatrix: Through deep concentration he instills a blinding fear.
The Pro Swimmer: Completely devoid of hair... and FEAR!
Hot-shave Carl: Ever meet a Ring Leader <em>without</em> a mustache that was worth a damn?
The Ring Leader: So underpays clowns that they become incapable of joy.
Hyuky Laffenjoke: He can find hilarity in any story!
Ben Soilperocks-Hyde: Hours and Hours of dry conversation.
Albert McAcne: Putting blemishes all over that pretty face of yours.
The Old Schoolmate: Easily tears down any self-esteem built up since High School.
Someone: He's not no one.
The Unopposinator: Will win every battle, provided there's absolutely NO opposition at all.

Hero Archive & Search

Heroes never forget to eat. Enjoy our delicious Aftermath Feed to learn more about the heroes of The Superest!